Breath In, Breath In

I have been in countless Chinese taxis and hired cars, but it wasn't until witnessing the grandeur of the Commander 700 Car Cologne (discussed in a previous posting) that I began to take notice of the car air fresheners. Here are more samples that I've been able to collect this past week. The Monte Carlo 700 appeared in multiple cars and seems to be the most popular, but with such a small sample size, I can not say for certain. Besides, my unfamiliarity with this region's socio-economic demographics limits me from making any scientific claims and I can only state what my imagination was imagining at the time the shot was taken of these automotive air scent falsification devices.

Monte Carlo 700 Car Cologne
The MC 700 looks to be the lesser gawdy of the (Empowering Name) 700 Car Cologne product line. I've not only been studying the air fresheners, but any neighboring paraphernalia. In this case, take the bobbing-head dog. During renaissance times, dogs were added to paintings as symbols for fidelity (i.e. the popular dog name "Fido", from the root fides of latin origin or some other language I'll never speak). While the driver who had the Commander 700 in his taxi was surely a man about town. This individual seems more even keel and is not into the pleasures that a pair of gold trimmed Ray Bans can bring, but the happiness of a true and lasting bond. This is reinforced by the lack of "jewels" on the air freshener container. The driver's practicality didn't stop there, we were in a Hyundai, recently rated as a preferred purchase by consumer reports.

Just-Make-It-Don't-Stank
I was so dissappointed when I entered this taxi. Sure, there was a bit of effort put into enhancing the passenger's experience, but how am I supposed to feel regal when there is sever indication that the air freshener's effects have long been worn out. Not only was this verifiable visually (as the plastic had yellowed from the sun's exposure), but olfactory as well, as it smelled better outside than inside. I rode with the window rolled down, much to the protest of the driver who for whatever reason did not want the stench to escape from the vehicle. I kept shaking my head in the opposite direction of the Monte Carlo 700 dog and repeating "ting bu dong" (I don't understand) like I was stupid...knowing damn well he was cussing me out for not rolling up the window. If I would have invested in a phrase book, I may have been able to answer him with, "Forget taking me to the factory, detour this thing to a Schuck's Auto and let's get you a sweet scented dashboard crown. It will do us both some good."
In the end, not only did I spend 1/2 the ride holding my breath, but the right side of my hair feathered out disproportionately.